lemonade

The Start of Something New?

What, G, you’re writing about High School Musical?

No, my love I really am not but I couldn’t help but have that song playing in my head as I sat in my nutrition lecture because possibly it is the start of something new for me.

There isn’t a boy with an awful haircut singing next to me and I can’t sing for shit anyway, so I would turn crowds away. There is no boy, there are no fireworks and I don’t think there will be but I am very happy with myself.

Because the new thing is I’m up and awake on a Wednesday morning. Wednesdays haven’t been my favourite day of the week for about four years now, it’s always been the day I’d rather stay in bed and not come out of the covers until it’s well and truly Thursday.

But I’m up, and yes my brain feels dry and grouchy but I’m up and that’s a brilliant thing. It’s a small step, but I feel it will lead onto me  getting better.

Last week, I went to see the police about the incident last May, which may seem a long time ago but again it was a big step for me and a larger step for looking out for myself. Even though I’m proud of myself and I feel just a tad stronger for doing this, I’m still scared as May is coming up and I’m questioning whether I’ll stumble back down a hole.

But I have to keep going, and if it means being up and in university on a Wednesday morning making me feel a bit better… well, I might try it every week.

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